mass effect: turian physiology
by moskgrorov
Summary: A high school student gets sucked into the world of mass effect and gets turned into a turian what crazy things will happen?
1. Chapter 1

BLANK PAGE JUST GO ON TO THE NEXT THIS IS HERE TO FIX A PROBLEM WITH REVIEWS!


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2 LOOKING AROUND.

He had neon green marks going down both mandibles forming what looked like fangs going down to his mouth and a small scar right under his right eye. Steve kept touching his face in shock so many thoughts racing though his head at once but to his surprise he started to feel happy and noticed his mandibles start to open that resembled a smile to him "no way...no freaking way...NO FUCKING WAY!" he started jumping around in his new found glory "ok...alright let's find out were i am now" he walks over to what looked like a window and opened the blinds that showed the citadel "FUCK YEA" shoving his talon hand into the air in victory.  
Steve turns around and looks in his closet and notices a full sized suit of black armor with what looked like green lights that matched his face tattoos along with a casual robe that is a dark red with black trimming. in the mirror he sees a Omnitool blinking blue, he walks over to it and it starts making noise he reads the bold text "WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP" he taps the screen a few times and shuts it off wondering to himself "was that alarm meant for something else besides waking me up its 9:00am?" he thinks for a minute "ahhhh screw it...what else is around here?" he walks out of his bed room and notices a good size vid screen about 50 inches in a nicely furnished living room "how do i turn you on?" he looks around the screen then the couch then the big recliner "what the hell?" he looks down at his Omnitool and sees a TV icon "ohhhhhhh that helps" he taps the app and sees the screen come to life. he scrolls though the channel's on his Omnitool and finds the citadel news he watches for a few minutes then he gets up and walks around the apartment looking for anything else interesting. walking into the kitchen he sees a whole counter stocked with booze with a note on the fridge he reads it aloud "come up with new drinks for Fridays party" he looks on his Omnitool and sees a sticky note app he taps it the screen opens up and reveals a whole list of drinks after scanning the list he sees he could add one of his favorite to the list named sugar Russian and types in (for humans only next to it remembering the dextro amino acids) he closes it out and checks the date "its Friday...ummmmmm" dumbfounded he forgot about it and moved on to his garage he flips on the lights a sees a normal hover car and a hover bike with dragons going down both sides breathing fire down where the wheels would be. "you gota be kidding me this is epic" he get on it and starts it up and with a loud RARRRRRW its engine booms to life "this gets better and better!" he smiles as wide as his face "hahahahahha this is soooooo cool!" he shuts down the engine looking down at it "i think I'll name you Marcie" patting it with his three fingered hand acting like it's his pet. He walks back inside still smiling his Omnitool starts to beep once more he looks down and it reads (NEW MESSAGE) he taps the screen and a picture of a male quarian with the name Nuik'Fathon nar Repshiy reading (YOUR LATE NEED YOUR HELP! WERE YOU?)  
Steven stares down at the message for a good two minutes "for what?" he looks at the clock in the kitchen and its noon

* * *

**_-moskgrorov_**

**_(mass effect belongs to EA and Bioware)_**


	3. Chapter 3

I stood there staring at my message from Nuik "who is this?"

my mind was racing with worry "late for what?" I decide to send a message back "what am I late for?" after a few minutes I got a urgent message back "what are you talking about? The bar your late for the bosses party she is VERYYYYYYYY angry with you!" (Boss! what boss? ohhhhhh shit's going down) I close the message and looks for a location finder app "ahhh there you are sneaky little bugger"

I find were Nuik is and send a message back "may bad I ll be there soon" I ran to the garage, got on the hover bike RAROWWWWW and I open the door from my Omnitool and fly out the garage.

I look down (SHIT!) I'm 400 some stories from the ground "holy shit!" I start shaking on the hover bike from fear of falling to his death.

I look up and see a car flying straight at me "OH LORD NO!" I franticly swing the bike hard right and in the process hitting another car "shit, sorry!" a human hand come out the window flipping him the bird and fly s by me. "Well fuck you too buddy" (destination straight ahead) (that's was fast) I look up and see a huge building with a neon sign with the words CLUB HIGHLIFE. I slowly come in for a landing not wanting to risk a crash and stops dead on an empty spot "well at least i got the landing down if nothing else"

with a small smirk I walked inside and see a distressed quarain looking back at me "keelah where were you?"

"Uhhhh sleeping" I gave him a shrug

"Of course You were, lazy boshtet"

"ooooh sorry Nuik, i forgot about today"

"you should be sorry Keltic i had to handle your share of the work!" (My names Keltic?) "I will make it up to you somehow, but where do I go?"

Nuik stares at me "you re kidding right?"

"No"

Nuik sighs in his disbelieve "follow me idoit" (what an asshole!) "This here is the bar were you work remember?" (Hell no!) "yea its coming back"

"well get behind the bar and get to work I dislike doing everything around here Keltic" "all right..." I walk behind the counter and see a the huge party going on in the distance, i start to feel the beats from the techno music, my foot starts taping to the rhythm of the beats and my head starts boobin too.

I turns around and see a huge wall of drinks top to bottom with different colored liquids with conveniently placed labels for amino and dextro.

(Well at least i won t kill anyone today) "Hay bartender!"

I turn around to see a human male standing there "what can I get yea?"

"Anything you have in mind"

"how about a sugar Russian?"

"Sounds cool what s that?"

"well i take vodka and mix in a bit of sugar along with brown sugar and to top it off Kahlua"

"all right get me one of them"

I turn around and find the vodka ,both sugars and then the Kahlua put it together and hand it to the guy "enjoy"

"thanks"

"no problem" the rest of the day went well only a few people came up to the bar for drinks and to my surprise my sugar Russian was a hit with the humans and the asari. (Today went better than planned...I think I like this life more than my old one)

after a few seconds he nods his head to himself (yea allot more)

"what are yo...YOU SMILEING a..t turain.." (what the hell?) I turn around to see a drunk human standing there.

"Can i help you sir?" I asked nicely

"FUCK YOU goddamn Turian!" I started making a low growl (i can growl?)

"i suggest you leave you fucking lush"

"how da...HICK dare you!" the drunk swings his fist, I dodge it and upper cut the drunk in the chin, he falls down hard and hits his head on the counter on the way down.

I franticly brings up my Omnitool and send Nuik a message (need you at bar need help now!) I close it out and looks around to see if anyone saw what happened but no the drunk was the last one to leave Nuik runs around the corner

"what did you need kel...why is there a human on the floor"

I shrugged "He swung at me and I hit him in the face"

"what did the boss tell you about hitting people?"

"Once more I don t remember!"

"KELLAH!, she's upstairs go talk to her"

"I don t wana"

"GO!" I have never seen a quarain so mad. (maybe I should go) I quickly walk away from the very angry quarain staring at me and starts to jog up the stairs tripping on the way up "shit!" I land on my elbow and starts to get a ringing in my ears from the pain "AHHHHHH GOD DAMNIT" (get up pussy!)

I let out a grunt and I can hear Nuik cracking up behind me, I rub my elbow and start going up the stairs a bit slower. I open the door at the top and walks in he see a asari standing there with her arms crossed sending him a death stare

"Keltic...do you know what kind of business i run?"

me being a smart ass "a good one?" I glance on the desk and see a name tag (jade... he he fitting)

she stares back at him "I m glad you think that i do but no i run a business were people come to relax after a hard day not have bad service and get knocked out by a turain!"

"He swung at me first! He was drunk and was insulting me because of my race!"

"I don't care Keltic you don t hit them"

felling defeated "yes ma am"

"good, anywa..."

Nuik burst in the room in a panic "keltic we have a problem!" he turns around

"what?"

"That guy you hit is with Cerberus!"

my eyes widen in fear "shit"


	4. Chapter 4

"You're kidding me right? You didn't see a giant Cerberus emblem on his right shoulder!"

"Yea…I didn't"

"HOW!"

"I just didn't my bad"

"good job pissing off a major anti alien group"

(This isn't good) "Keltic I think you should head home and lay low for a bit…..just to be safe"

Jade joins in the conversation "this could have all been avoided if you didn't hit him" said jade under her breath.

I turn around and stare at her with a look like the wrath of god; she avoids his eye contact and looks at floor (yea that's right, back down)

I turn back around to face Nuik "yea…..maybe that's a good idea" (fuck yea it is)

"I'll call you later Keltic"

"that be grate call me if anyone comes looking for me"

I walk past Nuik and hurry down the stairs and jog to my bike (let's hope I can fly you better a second time) I start the engine RAWWWR (still making noise good girl) I start to hover and zip away to my home.

I slowly go into my garage and land it nice and easy (all right I'm getting better at this) I close the door and walk in (well first day here I almost get killed by a car, I was a bartender for a high life club and got into some deep shit….great….) I look up at the ceiling and sigh (damn it)

I walk to the fridge and take out a some type of stake (this looks good) it had a big label with the word DEXTO in big cartoon weighting (starving) I turn around and put it in what looked like a microwave to me and started it up. While it was cooking i decide to go back to my room and lay down I stroll into the area and fall onto my bed as soon as I hit the bed a gun goes off BANG "WHAT THE FUCK?" I fly off the bed and land on the same elbow as before "DAMNIT AHHHHHH" rolling on the floor holding my elbow I look around for were the gunshot came from.

I look at the bed and see a bullet hole in a pillow I throw it cross the room and see a pistol sitting there with the word REVENGE engraved on the barrel (is this mine?) I pick it up and look at it from all sides (I wouldn't mind if it was) {DING DING} I walk back to the kitchen with my new found weapon in hand and place it on the table and gets my food.

I get a knife and a fork and sit down with my food and start to eat,I picks up the pistol and twirl it around my talon like an old west cowboy would and pretends to shoot it (pew pew hehe) I put it down and continue to eat my food. (I never knew turains had such sharp teeth to rip flesh) my snake like tough is still something im getting used to.

I finish mymeal and lays down on my couch and turn of the vid screen (what's on tonight?)

Scrolling though the channels I find a show about crime in the citadel it reminds me of Americas most wanted I watched that for a bit and see a familiar face (is that the guy I punched!) the show described him as a bigot against aliens and has killed many before for just looking at him and is considered highly dangerous and in tight correlation with Cerberus the pro human group.

I stare at the screen (shit shit shit) I look down at my gun and felt a little bit safer, Iput my talons on my face from all the stress and I feel my scar (maybe the REVANGE on my gun is because of this? What happened?...i thought being in this world would be so much easier…no problems but no its getting like my old life, what about my friends? Family? It's all gone…do they miss me? What if they don't! They DON'T FUCK!) I slams my fist into the near by coffee table it starts to bleed a blue blood (damn it…)

I walk angrily to the bathroom and almost swing the bathroom cabinet off its hinges, grabs some medigel and raps it around my talons (stings…) I slam it shut and walk to the kitchen and look at the liquor shelves picks a pink bottle and slams it down (soooooo bullshit…I need to relax guna shower) I walk to my bleached white bathroom with a standing shower and turn on the hot water.

I start to take my shirt off then my pants (what the hell?) I look in the mirror and see a scar going across my right breast to my abs (maybe this is want revenge is for) I shakes my head (more questions with no answers)

I dim the lights and let the room fill up with steam I turns down the temp and get in

(ahhhhhhhhh that feels good) the hot water was making my muscles and mind relax, I let out a long sigh just standing there just letting the water run down my body (this is all to much…) I turn off the water and step out with the towel around my waist I walks to the room and open my closet to put on a turain style t-shirt and some boxers as well he falls into bed.

I wake up in a sweat "what….the…hell?" I look over at my alarm clock and sees its 2:21am "to damn early" I roll to the other side and fall back asleep

I wakes up scratching the back of my head "hell of a dream" I look down in drawer (what the hell?) I see my iPod with headphones (my trusty skull candy's)

Doing my best not to scratch the screen I unlock it and checks to see if all the music is still there along with apps and movies and what not and indeed they were (I have no idea why this is here but I can't complain) I put the iPod down and put on a turains equivalent of a hoodie and some pants.

I walk to the kitchen (do turains have anything that are like eggs they can eat?) I opens the fridge and see dextro eggs (yes they do) I cook them up and sit down at the table (I wonder what Nuik's up to?)

I turn on my Omnitool and see a urgent message from Nuik (KELTIC they beat the info out of jade they know where you live, listen to me i have a plan meet me at the docking bay we have to get out of here and by we I mean I got dragged in too!) "SHIT" I run to my bed room and try's to find a suitcase or some sort to pack "where are you?….I saw you earlier!" I look under the bed and find it, I slam it on my bed and open it up I grab some hoodies ,pants, robe and his IPod and head phones I throw off my hoodie and pants and grabs my armor

I got everything on except my spurs they got caught on my lower legs "come on you bastards" finally after three minutes of hopping up and down and falling once I got them on.

I closed my suitcase and ran to the kitchen, slam down my eggs and picks up my gun and cocks it back, bursting through the garage door I run to my hover/sky car i throw the case in the back and get in, an AI greats me "good morning Keltic where would you like to go today?"

"The docking bay and make it fast!"

"Right away sir" the car starts to hover and fly's off to the docks.

I checks my gun and makes sure I have a fresh thermal clip in (good never know….i might kill someone today…..god…I hope not)

The car land outside of the main gate I get out with my case and gun hidden in my armor I spot Nuik from afar and starts to jog to him

"Ok good you're here" said the frantic quarain

"what now Nuik?" I said looking over my shoulder

"Ok this ship behind us is chartered for ilium, me and you are going to hide out there for a while, got it?"

"Got it…GET DOWN!" I shove Nuik to the ground and draw my pistol; Nuik also draws his

"fucking Cerberus!" I scream as I fire randomly over my cover.

Nuik stands up and tries to get a better shot on the agent, I look over at his body and see him laying still

"Nuik are you all right!" "Keltic you have to go I'm dead now….the bacteria from the bullet and all who touched it are now in my system…..jade set up a huge fund for you there along with an apartment…COUGH…just ask for tradios…he'll take you there"

"I will my friend I will not let you die in vain…..I'll get them back for this! I swear this to you!"

"I never got to say this before but you were my only friend when I got here thank you…kellah selai"

Nuik fell limp Into my arms I lay him down and make a run for the ship taking pot shots at the agent's "FUCK YOU" I hit one in the arm and hears him scream "ASSHOLES HA" I run inside and shut the door the ship starts to vibrate and fly's away.

I go over to a cot and throw my suitcase on top and open it up ( I barley new the guy yet I still feel like I lost a best friend) I take out my IPod and put on my headphones (maybe it's because I trusted him? Or because he helped me escape)

"I will avenge you Nuik I will"

I look up at a little TV screen above my cot (travel time 40 hours) "gona be one long ride" I scroll though my iPod and find some I play and float off into inner thoughts and the stars.


	5. Chapter 5

I wake up from a long sleep to the sound of footsteps outside my door, I walk to the door and see a bunch of people walking in the same direction.

I grab a fellow Turian "hay where's everybody going?"

"We docked and now were leaving"

I let go of him "all right thanks man"

I then turn around and puts my cloths and iPod back in my suit case (here we go again…SIGH)

I Step out of the room and start to follow the rest of the crowd.

I step out and look around (wow…this place is cool, very rich looking just like the game) I get in the middle of the square and look around for Tradios (would have been helpful if Nuik told me what he looked like or hell whatever species he is…..before he got shot ….yea)

I look around and see a Drell holding a sign (KELTIC) (that was easy)

"Hey are you Tradios?"

"Yes are you Keltic?" (Who else would know your fucking name?)

"That's me"

Tradios picked up my bags "follow me sir"(sir?)

He turns around and I walk behind him into the hotel (hooooollllyyyy shitt…..is this a five star hotel?) I see a bunch of Asari walking everywhere caring other peoples stuff (nice eye candy) I keep walking towards the elevators, and steps in.

Tradios presses the 29th floor and the elevator lurches up word (even in the future they still do that? Wow…)

We reach the 29th floor, Tradios hands me my bag and a key card "your room is 368 sir"

"thank you"

The elevator shuts and goes back down with him in it, I turn around and look at the floor and sighs (on my own once more…) "damn"

I get to my room and slide the card In the door, it swings open and reviles a presidential suite (wow….thanks jade) I place my bag on the nearby counter.

"What's behind door number one?" I open a door to my right and see a huge bedroom with what looks like a 2x king sized bed "WOW…..that's cool" I look in an nearby closet and sees allot of clothes but I catche something out of the corner of my eye in the back of the closet.

"da hell is this?" I grab the heavy object and see that's it's a black volkov sniper rifle with a note on it (from jade, hope you see them before they see you! good luck out there!)

"Didn't think she liked me"

(still a nice gun) I place it on tje bed and turn around to look at the rest of my new abode.

"Door number two…..HOLY SHIT!" the doors to open to a HUGE indoor pool with extravagant plants decorating the walls.

I stare at the sight in front of me in amazement "damn…..was jade really this loaded?"

(Ill swim in you in a bit)

I walk back to my room with the suit case and I throw it on the bed, and I start to unpack (clothes over there in the closet…iPod on nightstand…..gun In hidden holster….done) I see a little note on my night stand "just in case you need to quietly" (fuck that mean?) I slide open the drawer and see a silencer for my pistol (I honestly didn't think these guns had silencers or any type of suppressor…but it's the future so what da hell) I twist the silencer on the barrel and put it back in its holster.

(Kind of thirsty…I guess ill head down to the bar)

I open up my door and walk out locking it behind me, I start to stroll to the elevator with some swag (haters guna hate) I get inside and spin around on my feet, I press ground floor button, the elevator lurches downward

(Still don't like that) after about twenty seconds I reach the ground floor and walk the bar.

I sit down "hay barkeep can I get the strongest thing you got?"

The bar tender turns to his direction "all right pal two seconds" he turns back around with a glass with a green liquid

"Thanks man" I transfer's fifty credits to the tender

"No thank you sir…have a good day!"

I walk away with my drink in hand sipping from it every few seconds.

I catch a glimpse of a human man pulling a young quarain girl to a back room (well that's not right) I set down my drink and I sneak into the back room.

I get behind a low counter and overhears there conversation "trying to steal from me you little quarain bitch! HOW DARE YOU"

"I didn't steal from you I swear…..i don't even know you!"

"You tried to steal my credit chit you thief!" (Maybe I should help the poor girl out?) I see the man push her violently down to the ground (yea this asshole is dead) I stand up and yell with a primal growl to my voice "HAY YOU FUCK FACE LEAVE HER ALONE!" (holy shit that scared me!)

The quarain looks up "help me!" the human turns and smacks her helmet so hard I could have sworn that her head bounced off the side.

He turns back around to face me "who the fuck are you!"

I pull out my pistol and fire a round into his leg (yep very quiet) I walk up and shove the barrel in his mouth, I noticed he started to cry in fear and mumble pleas of forgiveness "what a pussy" I pull the gun from his mouth and smack it crossed his face and nock him out cold.

I holster my gun and walk over to the quarain girl, I hold out my hand to help the poor girl up, as soon as she did, she wrapped her arms around me "thank you thank you thank you!"

I look down at her and pat her back trying to comfort her "your save now…..what your name little lady?"

She clears her throat and try's to even her voice from the crying "kersta warkin vas umie, and you?"

"Keltic and it's a pleaser to help out, are you all right on your own kersta?"

she gives me a confused look "I mean like... do you have a place to stay or someone to look after you?" she looks down at the floor (damn, you made her feel bad)

"no I can't say I do I'm sorry, once I got here I was alone and well no one wants to hire a quarain girl and just about no one like us, no place to stay and I haven't eaten in a few days"

(my god) "well if you want I could crash with me?"

"cra..crash?" she responds with a curious look.

"I mean you could stay with me…(her eyes just lit up and a I can see a small smile behind her visor) I won't charge you anything and ill feed you too…practically a new home if you want to call it that"

Kersta once more hugs me while crying "thank you Keltic, no one has been nice to me here…..this means allot to me"

I look down smiling "let's just head back to my room" on the way out kersta kicks the human in the head "Boshtet" (feistily girl)

I step into the elevator with kersta and head up "so why was he accusing you of stealing from him?"

"I don't know I was walking outside the hotel and I bumped into him and he started screaming and dragged me into that backroom…im just happy you came along….i was afraid he was going to kill me!...but just thank you"

"no problem kersta, I'm just glad I could help you out" I pat her on the shoulder.

The doors open and I walk out towards the room "here we are your new home"

The door opens and i can see the amazement in her eyes "keelah!" I walk in and turn and look at her "well come on in don't be shy"

she walks in slowly still looking around "are you sure I can stay I seem like I could be a burden"

I give her a little smile "its fine kersta"

(maybe she's hungry?) "You want something to eat?" She nods her head

"have you ever had stake?"

"No I can't say I have, never did have that much on the fleet" I walk around the counter to the fridge "well your guna have one tonight"

Instead of using the microwave I decide to cook it on the burner (this should keep the juices inside)

"Hay kersta how do you like yours"

she turns her head from siting on the sofa "like what"

(Really?) "Like how do you like your stake…..for example I like mine medium well it's still got juices in it but is also chewy"

she thinks about it for a second "I think I'll go with what you're having"

"Give me about an hour"

While its cooking I walk over to the couch and sit down next to kersta "sooo what's your story or I mean tell me about yourself"

she turns her had "no one ever asked me that (I can see a faint smile) well I was born on the umie and served on it, my pilgrimage went ok, got to be friends with a krogon he helped me out with some money and protection from some vorcha on omega"

"your pilgrimage started on omega?"

"Yea I was looking for something to bring back to my people, and I found this coupling that could decrease the amount of fuel our ships would us and as soon as I grabbed it some vorcha screamed "NO MINE I SAW FIRSTA and he pulled his pistol and aimed it at me and as soon as he did a hole appeared in his stomach and he flew backwards and then my krogon friend walked around the corner with a smile on his face and he handed me some money and he walked away"

"he tell you his name?"

"Nope just handed me some money and walked off, then when I got back I stayed with my ship the umie for about five years and I started to wonder what else is out there so I ended up here….with you"

(WOW DADINT EXSPACT THAT) "so did your people like the gift you brought back?"

"Yes very I even got to meet one of the admirals and his daughter I think there last name was zarah? I can't remember"

"don't take this as me wanting to stop listing but I got to check on the food

"Oh it's all right I was wondering if it was done too"

"Well it's done"

"smells good" (she can smell?)

we start to eat (wait…how?) "I'm sorry but how do you eat?"

"Well first this tube comes out and I put the food in, it becomes decontaminated then I chew it and eat it.

(Wow I did not know that) "Is it good?"

"VERY!" (I didn't know I was that good at cooking!) "iv never had this but I can tell you it's awesome!"

"I'm glad you're enjoying it kersta"

I put the dishes in the sink and sit down next to kersta on the couch watching TV.

She yawns "you tried, you had a crazy day I'm betting"

I look at her eyes and sees them staring back with a faint smile from behind the visor "yes very"

she cuddles up next to my left side (should I put my arm around her) she starts to Nussle my left arm (yea I should) I gently put my arm around her and rested it on her side (wow I can feel her heart beat through her suit and her slow breathing)we continue to watch TV and have small talk about what's in front of them on the screen.

"Are you awake kersta?" in a gentle voice, I didn't get an answer back (should I get up and go to bed?)

She starts to move a little bit (yea no I think I'll just sleep tonight with this cute girl around my arm…maybe things are looking up) I drift off to a light sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

I open my eyes to a glowing TV screen (damn I must have left it on) I fumble with my Omni tool and turnd it off.

I look left and right to see ware kersta is "um?" (Where is she?) "Kersta?" I didn't get an answer back (I hope she didn't run away I was really starting to like her) I got up and started to walk towards my bedroom when I heard the faint sound of water from the shower.

(She's showering or about to?) Noticing a little screen next to the bathroom door (decontamination complete) "she is….." I open the door and see kersta in the shower and sees her staring back at me "oh SHIT SORRY!" I slam the door and lean against it, my heart is beating like a combustion engine.

(Ohhhhhh im sooo fucked) I feel the door open a bit and a hand pulls me in.

"kersta wh…. (gulp) why is it dark?"

"I'm sorry I should have told you I was going to be in here"

(turn on the lights) I glide my hands around the wall and was met with another pair

"don't turn on the light Keltic not yet" I could hear the lust in her voice. (Damn…is this really happening?)

"Here just let me guide your hands Keltic" (for someone who's been in a suit for her whole life she knows how to be sexy) I could feel my talons go around her neck then over her chest (damn I can feel he heart beating like one of my friends drums) "nervous I won't like what I see kersta? hehe"

"Shut up Keltic" she said in playful tone.

My hands go down a bit farther (nice stomach)

"Do you want to go lower? Keltic" she said in a very seductive tone

"Yes…..i would love to" (damn she's wet as a fucking waterfall) she shutters a little bit from my talon in her "Keltic…deee….deeper"

I can her deep breathing and could feel her body shacking from the pleaser "Keltic ….i…..lo…love…..you"

my hand stops "what?" (what!)

"Since I got her every one hated me for what I was….you were the …..Only one that was kind to me….you treated me above others plus you saved my live" she said in between heavy breaths (do I say it back?)

"I love you too kersta" I felt a body latch on to me and try to kiss me

(I don't think this is working) "hay kersta?"

"yea…"

"open your mouth" confused she douse anyway.

I slowly lean forward and sticks my snake like tough into her mouth and he started to play with hers (holy fuck maybe this is truly getting better…..i….fuck everyone in my past im here and this is happening now) I slowly pull my tough out "can I turn on the lights now?"

"only dim you silly boshtet" Keltic grins to himself (awesome)

The lights flash on and I stand there in amazement (DEM HIPS AND DAT AZZ)

"I would have never guessed quarain's would have been so beautiful under there mask" kersta giggles "you're not to bad your self Keltic" (better looking than before)

"get in the shower kersta and trust me close your eyes" "you got it

she step in "your eyes are closed right?"

"yes" I started to rip off my shirt and pants and step in the steamy shower.

"ok you can open em" he sees her eyes look up then down and her eyes widen.

"…..WOW" (hehehheeh indeed wow)

I open my eyes to find kersta lying next to me (that…..was…..fucking….amazing) I laid there for a bit just watching her breath in and out (so cute) I roll on my side and gets my iPod out of the drawer (need some good rap) I scroll though and finds big ego's (just right) I start to bob my head to the beat of the music, I feel a slight tap on my left shoulder.

"Keltic….um what is that you have there?"

(um um what do I say shit shit) "it's a music player called an ipod"

"THERES A EYE IN THERE!"

(really?) "no its just the name"

"ohhhhhh what are you listing to?"

"oooohhhh it's a classic!, big egos by dre"

She tilts her head "who?"

"he's a rapper"

"so he wraps stuff" (Jesus Christ!)

"you know like rap beats and smooth lyrics to match the beat?" she slowly moves her head side to side (MY GOD) I take my headphones off and put them on her head

"there" I start to watch her with observing eyes (will she like it?) she slowly starts to bob her head to the music.

"I like it I just can't say I ever heard of it"

"well it's still good you like it" I turns on the TV (OHHH SHIT) my eyes widen in fear, I see a video off the Cerberus guy I punched walking into the hotel

"kersta?"

"yea?"

"get dressed"


	7. Chapter 7

_**yes yes i know i was very lazy and put this off...1. there are spoilers for the arrivel DLC that mass effect 2 dlc (BEWARE) **_"get up!" I scream at her in a loud growl.

"What wrong?"

"There's this Cerberus guy I may have punched earlier and now he's hunting me down" I noticed her eyes widen but not with fear.

"Are you sure he's Cerberus? She said tilting her head.

I lean down to get my armor and guns back where they belong….i hear a near silent click behind me.

"Sorry Keltic I did like you"

I turn around and see a barrel pointed to my head "NO!" I jump towards her and tackle her off the bed "you trying to kill me!" we land on the floor "let go of the damn gun!" I slam her hand into the nearby desk making the lamp fall over and land my head (FUCK THAT HURT) she tries to pull the trigger and round goes off and hits a mirror "you crazy bitch why fuck me then try to kill me!" "What can I say I like sex" she slams here faceplate into my head "BITCH!" I rollover and open my eyes to a barrel in my face (DAMNIT NO) I sweep my leg as hard as I can and make her fall over and the gun falls to my side "TRYING TO KILL ME WITH MY OWN GUN TOO? OHHHHH BITCH YOU GUNA DIE!" I stand up fast and fire a round into her left leg "AH…..damn you" "talking under your breath won't help you live! Why did you want to kill me!" "If I'm going to die I'm not going to tell you shit!" "Be that way…..oh and by the way" "what you spineless shit!" I get a small grin on my face "I liked you too" I pull the trigger and see her head go back from the impact

(Just a whore anyway) her blood is filling up her visor and about to drip out the side "damn you heavy!" I pick up the body and throw it over my shoulder and toss her off of the balcony.

(damn I feel like a trained killer! Perfect head shot and hand to hand too…)

I flop down on the couch and start to clean the blood from my left mandible "damn that bitch hit hard"

(What was I before? Bartender and an assassin on the side?) "damn that stings" (better get some medigel from the bathroom….) I get up still squinting from the pain and walk to the restroom cabinet (where are you?) "ah right behind the…..i don't know what this is….." I start to gently apply it to my wound (should have done this before when I busted my fist) I walk back to the sofa and sit down and turn on the vid screen "earlier today the alpha relay was demolished by an asteroid causing the system to be wiped out along with over five hundred thousand batarians were killed" (I played that game….5 times through and I never blew up a mass relay…is it possible that this place updates with new dlc's?...did I miss something…did shepherd blow up that relay?...damn….well now to go kill that Cerberus prick…why not add two counts of murder) there's a bunch of footsteps outside my door with allot of muffled whispering…. (looks like they found me) "hay Keltic I know you're in there!" and as soon as he said that bullets went flying through the door towards the couch (SHIT) I dive behind a beam and start to fire back (shoot out the lights!) I fire 4 rounds at the large ceiling light, sparks fill the room and it goes pitch black except the small neon light on the counter (damn) "scared of the dark bitch!" "no but you will be" i run up to one of his men and get behind him and get a headlock with the gun to his temple, I start to shoot the other one and finish off the one I had in my grip.

"You killed my men?...FUCK YOU!" the Cerberus agent starts to spray the whole room up with is assault rifle.

"god damn learn to aim bitch" I hit him in the leg and kick away his gun.

"you bitch!" I glare back "well see who the bitch is soon" I bring my foot down on his face and knock him out in one hit "bitch" (I'm going to find out what you know) I start to drag him to the couch and sit arcossed from him and waited with a dim light on him (I know why revenge is on my gun know) I check the clip and pop in a new one "wake up!" he moans "I SAID WAKE UP!" I walk up and smack him with my gun "IM TALKING TO YOU!" "fuck you Turian" he spits blood in my face.

I lowered my gun to his leg and pulled the trigger "AHHHH FUCK!" "Shut up! Why are you after me!" "Because I don't take kindly to scaled fuck faces hitting me!" "Because I hit you!...you try to kill me because I hit you?" I shoot his other leg "SHIT" "what about the kersta?" he gets a grin on his face "she was working with us…..it's a shame it is…..she was a good agent" "she failed at killing me and so did you!" I grab his hair and throw him into the wall and smashed a chair into his back "it's funny you're going to die like a dog just like Cerberus" "fuck you" I put my barrel into his mouth "ha-ha say hi to kersta for me!" I pull the trigger and the back of his head gets blown out and bone and brain splatters on the wall.

(damn it now I got to clean that shit up…well time for you to hit the pavement) I pick him up and throw the body out the window.

"well I just killed that prick now what?"

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**_so please review on what i should do change it back (BUT IMPROVED) or keep it 1st person_**

**_thanks for reading.-moskgrorov_**


	8. Chapter 8

**_sweet jesus this took a long...gears of war 3 beta for three weeks then minecraft not to metion the new Mortal Kombat 9 came out hell of a good game too should check it out._**

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(I never thought of myself of being so confrontational) I squeeze the blood out my rag into a bucket and bring it back to the wall (why did I even have to punch him? I mean I wasn't a Turian for six hours…..yet I took such offence to his words…then I watched Nuik die in my arms…I didn't know him for that long yet…..i felt so sad….i don't understand any of this) I drop the rag into the bucket and look at my talons (this feels so wrong and yet so right….this is some crap…am I the only one that ever got put into this world?...i couldn't…there's no way only i have stumbled into this? I couldn't of been the only teen to wish he was in here…..was i...was my old life so horrible that I wanted this so bad…..maybe it was….but…) "damn it all" I let out in a low whisper.

I stand up from the blood stained wall in my room (well…..now what?...fuck it I want to get shit faced) I put on a blue hoodie and flipped the hood up and holstered my gun on my side (wait) I take it back out and put in a new thermal clip (can't be too sure) I lock the door behind me and walk towards the elevator "hay is everything all right in there?" I turn around it see a Turian looking back at me from his room I notice he has a side arm hidden behind him "yea its fine…(I give him a fake smile and a happy outlook to throw him off) just some people wanted me dead yea know?" he chuckles a little bit "it's a bitch aint it?" "hahah yes it is" "all right then I was just checking I heard allot of noise" (he knows they were gunshots) "yea…(change the subject!)…um I was going down to the bar….want to join me?" "naw its ok, maybe next time?" I give him a shrug "all right" I turn around and step into the elevator…I press the MF and start to go down, I turn around and look out the glass wall….(I still can't believe this is real…..is it?) *DING* (well…time to get drunk) I walk towards the bar slowly watching my back at the same time.

I sit down on the red bar stool and call the bartender over "what can I get cha pal?" "I'll have four shots of the strongest stuff you got and if I'm not nocked on my ass I will get more"

I get 4 shots of pink liquor in front of me (1) I shoot it down (ohhhhhhhhhh that burns good!) (2) I slam it too (damn that's good) "hay!" I hand grabs my shoulder "HAY I'm talking to you!" I turn around and let out a primal growl "WHAT!" I see a group of humans along with a Krogan.

One of the Humans snaps back "WE don't like your kind around here!" (Are you fucking kidding me?) "guys…I just came her to drown in the booze can we not do this?" the human gets a wicked smile (damn…..here we go) "all right before we start…..any of you Cerberus?" "No?" "all right then" I down the 3rd drink and give him a grin "fuck you smiling at?" I throw the glass at his face and it shatters on impact "GET HIM!" (Shit!) I pick up the stool and get an arm caught in it, I kick him in the back and twist the stool around braking his arm "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH" (hahahah) I pull it back and slam it on his back "who's next!" the second guy tackles me down to the ground and proceeds to punch me in the face "HHAAHHA eat it Turian!" "To hell with you!" I bring my knee up and slam it into his crotch "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" "Get off me" I get up and curb stomp him twice and elbow drop his face, I glance at his face and see blood spraying out (BLOODRAGE!) I let out a growl that scared me (damn!) "COME ON!" I turn and see a Krogan fist slam into my face, I flew across the bar and knocked some people down along with the drinks "shit" I see my left mendable where the scare used to be gushing blood (ohhhhhhhhh I got to finish this fast) i get up and jump over the bar and stand there in a fighting pose that reminds me about a boxer "AHHAHHA the scaly bitch thinks he can fight!" (Think? Oh I know buddy) he comes charging at me, I drop down and sweep kick him, he falls face first into the bar"RAWRRRRRR"

(Shit her we go!) He picks me up and throws me at a table; it falls over with the drinks crashing on the floor (Jesus!) i slowly stand up "fuck you…you oversized frog" "RAWR" (fuck) he comes running again….(I hope this works!) I jump up in the air and drop kick him in the face "YES!" he stumbles back, I run up and head butt him as hard as I can (OWWWWW) I grab my head "that didn't work like I planned!" i hear a crash and my world blacks out, before I fade into the dark I hear a dark, low voice "no it didn't" "so you think well get some credits for him?" "Turian's? Oh yea he pays top dollar"

I wake up in a dim room "uhhhhh my head" I groan from the pain, I try to move my wrists "what the hell?" I start to struggle more and notice my hands and legs are bound to a table (shit shit SHIT SHIT SHIT!) i start to thrash around like a caged rat "fuck!" I see a human climb down a bit of stairs "hay there calm down you're not worth anything to be bruised" he gives me a wicked smile "hehehe" "what the fuck do you want!" "Nothing much…just your insides" my eyes widen "WHAT?" "You see there's a big market on organs from different species and it just happen you are a Turian ill fetch a good 40 thousand credits for you" (OHHHH FUCK ME!) I look around and see my left restraint looks rather loose (thank god this idiot is using an old form of restraint) "so you see I'm going to start at your chest" he grabs a knife and cuts up my hoodie bottom to top in a strait line "oh what's this looks like someone already did" (just a little more….just a little more….got it….now to wait…thank god for my talons!) "are you ready?" (Play along) "NO STOP FUCK HELLLLLLLLLP!" he gets a grim face "I love it when they fight back" "YOU SICK FUCK!" he lowers the knife to my chest (NOW) I rip my left hand from the restraint and grab the knife and stab him in the eye then go for his throat, blood starts to spray on my face and body "Jesus that's gross!" I spit what I can out and start to cut the rest of the restraints, I run over to him still clenching his neck, push him down and get in his face "wonder how much your worth on the market" I drive the knife right under his ribs and twist it, he falls limp "you deserved it"

I roll over him onto my back and breathe deeply "holy shit!" I stand up shaking from the adrenaline and start to scan the room for anything (anything…..what's that?) I walk over to a small table with a duffle bag on it…..i zip it open "really?" I pull out my gun along with my iPod (you think he would try to hide this better…..damn idiot) I holster my gun and put my iPod in my pants.

I walk up the steps into a kitchen (hem…..) i look around and find a door to my right, I step outside and see a busy intersection. (I hope this works) I raise my hand and right away a taxi lowers next to me.

The door open and I step inside, I see a asari "wow….i haven't seen a Turian without armor" even though her being blue I can tell she is blushing, "yea….had a rough day" I can see her eyes looking me over "so where to?" "The high life hotel" the taxi hovers off the ground and merges into traffic.

(There's so much more to this world then what I've seen) "so what your name?" I look back from the window towards the driver "names Keltic….you?" "Snisah" "so if you don't mind if I ask why aren't you wearing a shirt? (Should I tell her?) And why is there red blood on you?" (shit know I have to) "well first you're not going to believe me but I know if I don't tell your going to call the police….well I was at the bar in the hotel were going to, just enjoying some drinks and a gang shows up and start harassing me….."uh hu" "then we start a brawl I get knocked out and wake up on a table, a human comes down and want to cut me up to sell my organs on the black market….but one of the cufflinks were loose and I grabbed a knife and stabbed him…..and now I'm here" "wow…that's…crazy…are you ok?" "yes I'm fine I'm real good" I give her a confident face with a smile "well good someone as sexy as you shouldn't die" (wait what?) "One more time?" "Were here" I look out and see the same hotel, I glace forward and see her hand me a note with a number on it (damn….i must be one good looking Turian haha) I get a smirk "I'll see you later baby" I lean In and try to kiss her with my mandibles "I'll talk to you later" I step out looking back to see a smile on her face "I hope so " (damn I'm smooth!) I shut the door and tap on the window and she drives off (Snisah) I turn around and start walking towards the front door, I open the door and an soon as I do I start to see everybody staring at me (has no one seen a Turian without his armor on?) I increase my speed so the management doesn't get involved, I press the elevator button with haste and jump inside to see people taking pitchers (close, close, close, CLOSE DAMN YOU!) my heart starts to beat faster, the doors slowly shut, a hand gets in the door it's the same Turian that has a room next to me "hay man…why is your shirt off?" (fuck, this again) "I got in a crazy party and now I don't have my clothing" I see his eyes looking at my shoulder "and the blood?" (FUCK) "I got in a fight at the party" I give him a fake smile like I did before. "ohhhhh must have been crazy….did you win?" "Yep strait knockout" he looks down at his feet "cool, cool" the doors open and I walk to my room "I'll see soon man….by the way what is your name?" "it's Raphmis" he holds out his hand, I grab it "nice to meet you Raphmis names Keltic" and we shook "all right I'll see you later" I turn around and slide my card down the slot and unlock the door, I step inside and turn on the lights, nothing happens (what the….oh yea) I turn the switch back down and turn on the counter light (better…damn I need to get this blood off me) I check to make sure I locked the door and stroll to the bathroom locking that door too I flip on the lights and see Kersta's bra and undergarments, I pick them up and throw them into the trash (she may have tried to kill me but damn she knew how to rock those hips…hopefully this Snisah can just like she did) I turn on the hot water and look in the mirror and see my blood stained shoulder (wow….that allot) I pull out my ipod and put on krizz kaliko and step inside the water (my god….that feels good!) I start to sing along to the music.


	9. Chapter 9

_**sorry bout the wait...lot oh stuff came up.**_

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I step out of the hot water with steam filling up the bathroom (ohhh that felt good) I grab the towel the hanger and proceed to dry myself off, I throw on a hoodie with some black pants and walk into the kitchen and grab myself a bottle of yelga (ahhh the Turian equivalent to vodka) I pour myself a glass and sit down on the couch (maybe I should call up this Snisah) I bring up my Omni tool, I slide my finger from the bottom to the top and it brings out a dialing pad, i start to search my pockets for the paper "what the hell?...were is it?" I look around and remember I put it on the counter, I stand up and casually walk to the counter "found yea" I sit back down and start to enter the number.

The phone starts ringing…..and ringing…..and ringing (da hell?) I press the end call button and put my Omni tool is sleep mode (I'll just try later) I get up and walk to my room and throw off my hoodie and pants and fall onto my bed and fall asleep.

I wake up to the sound of a ringing throughout my apartment "what the hell?" I roll out of my bed and get a t-shirt and some pants I start to stumble towards the door, I look over to the counter and see the microwave read 3:42 (who the hell is coming here at 3 am…) my eyes widen (OH SHIT) I walk quickly back to my room and grab my pistol, I pull back the slide and walk back to the door (1,2,3) I open the door and Snisah walks in not as if to even notice I have a gun.

I shut the door and watching in aw struck as why she's here.

She turns around "oh please put that away" she turns around and puts down a dossier and a suitcase on my table "please sit down"

I stare back (what the hell?) "Um Snisah what are you doing"

"I said sit down "

I complacently sit on the opposite side of the table "Snisah….what is this about?"

She puts her hand together and looks me in the eyes "you see Keltic my organization has been watching you for a long time...and we want you to join our cause"

I stare at her dumbfounded "wh… what?"

"You see my organization…how can I put this?...we remove people for a cost, you could say we are hitmen or guns for hire"

I'm just silent with my eyes wide "you're kidding…."

"no I'm not and the pay is high"

I start to shake my head "wait how long was….your organization watching me?"

"Since the Cerberus agents wanted you dead …..And when you got kidnaped by that crazy doctor we knew you would make it out so I was sent to pick you up."

(What else do they know about me?) "Do I have a choice weather or not I join up?" I said with squinted eyes.

"Yes everyone has a choice"

(Maybe I should…..as long as it's only bad people)

I look back at her and nod my head "yea ill join"

She gives me a smile "good, here this is your first assignment" she slides a dossier over to me.

I look down and of course a cliché would mandate theirs a classified stamped on it (LULZ) I open it up and see multiple papers on my target, I keep flipping through and see a photo of him, he's a Drell named Hiatus lavabos

I look back up at Snisah "what can you tell me about him?"

"Well the hit came in from the parents"

I tilt my head sideways "parents?"

"Yes the victim's parents, you see this man killed a child because he caused a little bit of vandalism towards Hiatus, he locked him up in a chair and starved him to death while beating him every day"

(Sick fuck) "Will I have transportation?"

"Yes its being shipped in tonight, when it gets here you will begin your mission"

"Ok did the parents state anyway they want him to die?" (God that sounds sick)

"No they just want him dead, when you are done with this target meet me in the bar downstairs"

"All right I understand, also what's in the briefcase?" I point towards the black case on the table.

"It's your first half of the pay you'll get the rest when it's done and there's a gift from my higher ups" she slides me the case "open it and look under the money"

I click both the tabs on the side and it flips open, I lift out the money and see a M1911 blacked out with white trim going down the barrel "oh my god…how did you get this?" I'm staring at it practically drooling over its design.

"We knew you would like it, we got it off of a small time shop on earth that remakes old style guns"

I press the mag release button and a thermal clip falls out. "What the hell?"

"ahhh yes we improved it so it can use thermals clips but still retain its historic look"

I pull the slide back and it looks just like the ones back in my universe, I put the thermal clip back in side and click the slide shut, and set it down on the table in front of me and shut the brief case.

"Thank you it's really nice….in fact it's perfect"

She stands up and looks at me "good, keep working for us and you collection will improve"

She starts to walk towards the door and I follow her.

"You know Snisah, I honestly thought we were going to date" I give her a smile.

"Oh trust me I'm still interested"

"I thought workplace relationships were bad?"

She steps outside and gives me a smile "well….this isn't your average job is it? I'll see you when you're done Keltic" she winks at me and walks off.

I shut the door and take in a deep breath (wow)

I walk over to the table pick up my M1 and walk back to bed and open up the dossier.

"what can I learn about you"

NAME: Hiatus lavabos

AGE: 32

OCCUPATION: dock worker, works in building 18D

KNOWN PLACES OF INTERESTS: cosmos strip club, the docks where he works.

(I'll hit him when he's at work) I throw the dossier on the nightstand and fall asleep.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I wake up pointing my gun around the room.

"What the hell!" I scan the room and the noise is made again, I look down and see a message on my Omni tool.

(Your ride is in the parking lot under the hotel)

I turn off my Omnitool and start walking towards my closet and get my armor on; I holster my M1 on my left and my other pistol on the right and put my sniper on my back.

I walk out the door and lock it behind me. (Let's do this)

I turn around and start to walk towards the elevator, I press the button and start to head down, and I turn around and watch the city escape from my view (Am I really about to kill someone for money...he did tie a kid to a chair…and beat him) I shake my head and let out a sigh.

The door opens and I start to walk through the lobby to the front door, I turn left and head down a stair case, I reach the bottom and see a door at the end of the hall theirs sign saying garage on it, I quickly walk to it and push the door open to a dim parking garage and scan the hover cars; I turn my head to the right.

"NO FUCKING WAY! MY BIKE!"

I run over to it and see a small note on the handle bars (good luck Keltic) (MARCIE how I missed you)

I put my helmet on and type in the coordinates of the docks on my Omni tool and get the pin point location of the place. (Let's see) I turn the key and the engine comes to life with a load roar, I push down on the shifter and fly out of the garage fully ready to take a life.

I follow traffic for a bit and come to a shady looking dock area (hem….building 18c?)I circle around the building a few times and see a large building with an 18-D on it, I bring in my bike next to the main door and shut down the engine. (All right let's do this) I jump up and down shaking my body trying to get hyped, I land on my feet and turn to the door and take a deep breath, I raise the door up then bring it back down when I got in, I look around and see that I'm in an industrial plant with a bunch of workers doing their part to be useful, one walks by me.

"excuse me do you know were hiatus is?"

he gives me a quick look over "you mean the Forman? Yea he's in his office over there"

"thanks man"

I walk by him and head towards the office, I knock on the door.  
"Come in!"

I open the door and see him sitting there I get a slight rage for what he's done but I keep it under wraps.

He looks at me with squinted eyes "can I help you?"

I sit down in a chair in front of his desk "yes I'm wondering if I could get a job as security here"

"Tell me what we would need security from?" he tilts his head.

I squint my eyes and lean in towards his face "any kids that want to vandalize your property" his eyes widen.

He gets up from his seat and point toward the door "I think it's time you leave"

I get up and draw my gun to his head "no no no sit down, I want to talk to you"

he puts his hands up and slowly moves into the chair.

"you see I was hired to kill you after what you did to that kid…at first I thought you were some kind of sick fuck….but you look normal like someone who wouldn't do that….tell me what did he do to make you want to kill him?" I look him dead in the eye when I asked that question.

He swallows the lump in his throat "he…..he broke my window with a ball"

I shake my head in disappointment "good now this will be easier for me to do"

He gives me a confused look "what?"

I pull the trigger on my M1, his head goes back and he falls out of the chair from the force of the impact.

(Sick basterd you deserved it) I holster my gun and walk out.

I get back to my bike and ride back to the hotel (that was easy…) I land in the garage and shut down the engine; I slide off my bike and walk up the stairs and into the main lobby then towards the bar.

I see Snisah siting there sipping on a drink, I walk up.

I sit next to her and lean towards her side "its done"

She sips from her drink once more and turns to me "good to hear Keltic and I must say it was a fast kill"

(Do I take pride in that?) "Thanks I try"

She leans over the bar (she really trying hard not to show off her nice ass) she bring up a suit case and hands it to me.

"well here you are, the rest of the payment"

I take the suit case out of her hands and she continues to stare at me.

I give her a confused look "yes Snisah?"

She stand up and grabs my hands and leads me back up to my room, she opens the door and walks me to the couch.

she get up in my face and kisses me (wow strait forward)

"sit" she pushes me down into the sofa and starts to give me a strip tease (If this is the life of a hitman I like it!)

I wake up the next morning a see her lying next to me (damn you were better than kersta!)

I lay my head back and relax.

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**_well WHAT AH TWIST!_**


	10. Chapter 10

**_well now seems i am still working on this eh? haha well hope you like this (had fun with this one just like the rest, also blame me takeing so long is beacuse of minecraft and counter strike source...yea)_**

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I slide out of bed and stumble to the kitchen (hemmmmm) I open the door to my left and enter the pool room (damn this is still cool) I see a nearby chair I throw my t-shirt on it and jump in.

The cold water surprised me (this aint heated?) I come back up breathing heavily "wow that's nice hahah" I go back under and start to swim at the very bottom (AHHHHH MY EARS POPPED) I ignore the pain and keep swimming to the other end, I reach it and push off the bottom and brake the surface (damn I can still swim hahaha) I grab the side and start to catch my breath, then behind me I hear the water splash (da hell? Snisah?) I look under the water and see a blue figure swimming to me "well son of a bitch"

She come up right in front of me about 5 inches from my face "well hello handsome"

"Well hay, when did you wake up?"

"well as soon as you hit the water I was wondering how you couldn't have invited me" she jabs me in the side with a smile.

"Sorry I didn't want to wake you haha, I would have asked if you were awake!"

"I was faking sleep!" she protested

"fuck me for not being able to tell!" I said in a happy tone

She gets a smug tone "I already did"

"yes yes you did" I said in a nod

She grabbed the back of my fringe and I started to purr (am I a cat?) "and I was damn good at it"

"Yes you were…..very"

I hear a ringing on my Omnitool (who the hell?) "hold on ill be right back"

"Don't take too long boy" and she kissed me on my left mandible.

"Don't worry I won't" I grabbed her ass, she let out a little squeak and I swam away laughing.

I pulled myself outa the pool and walk to my room and looked at my Omnitool (new massage) I open it up (Hello Keltic you have been requested to be interviewed by THE commander shepherd on his hit late night show SHEPHERD TONIGHT! Please call or leave a message that you are willing to come-shepherd tonight team)

I stare at the message(what the fuck?) I walk back into the pool room "hey Snisah….did you know commander shepherd had a tv show?"

She looked surprised "yes its very popular, why do you ask?"

I look down at the Omnitool "I was just asked to be on the show"

"No way you're lying!" I give her a hand moment to come over to me.

"see!" I hand down my Omnitool to her

She looks back up at me "wow…you should go…..he only interviews the best of the best! ( maybe I should)

I walk into my room and search my closet for a tux (do I not have one?) I start moving cloths around (ahhh there you are!) I put my pants on and then a dress shirt under the slick coat and finish off the look with a blue dragon tie tucked into the coat, I look in the mirror (damn I look sexy!) I walk back into the kitchen and see Snisah drying off "soo how do I look?" I throw out my arms and do a spin.

"wow you clean up well, well I mean you weren't bad before just you know….you look good in a suit"

I walk up to her "it's all good I understand what you mean" I plant a kiss on her forehead "ill be back"

"you got it Keltic don't keep me waiting" (damn I got something good with her!)

I walk out the door and go down the elevator (shit I should send a message back I have no idea were it is!) I type one out and receive one just as fast as I sent one (damn they really want me there!) (thanks for your rsvp for shepherd tonight were located on the citadel! Ask at one of the many front desk when you arrive and we will point you there, the show airs tonight at 9!)

"shiiiiiiitttttttt" (FUCK! It 2 and I need to be at the citadel!) as soon as the doors open I run to the port outside (fast looking ship!,theres one) I run over to the owner filling up on his ship. "hay buddy are you heading to the citadel?"

He gives me a confused look "yea…..why do you ask?"

"I've been invited to shepherd tonight and the show airs at 9, how fast can you get there!"

"ohhhh really, well I could get there in about 2 hours"

"o thank god, are you willing to take me? I got money!"

"I'll take you but it's no need to pay"

I shake his hand "thanks man" I walk into the ship while he continues to fill it up, I sit down and hear the sound of the fuel hatch being closed (aight don't have to wait that long) the man walks in the ship "by the way my names mike"

"Nice to meet you mike names Keltic"

We both nod and he make the ship fly out of port and towards the mass relay

He counts down "5….4….3…2…1" we hit the really and I get pushed back in my seat from the force of take off (damn)

Mike turns to me and flips a switch on the control panel "well now to sit back and relax while we wait" he puts his hat over his face and leans back.

(Think I'll do the same) I lean back and close my eyes and listen to the engine and fall into a light sleep.

Feel a slight tap on my shoulder "Keltic…Keltic…KELTIC!"

I jump out of my dream state "WHAT, WHAT?"

"Where here you were asleep for 5 hours its 7pm now" I tells me

"Thanks mike I got 2 hours to find the place….oh by the way stay here alight I'm going to need a ride back" I reach out my hand he in turn shakes it.

"No problem Keltic I'll be here"

I give him a nod and walk out of the ship and onto the landing dock and see of course the same front desk with the human arguing with the Turian (YOU HUMANS ARE ALL RACIST!) and of course he blurts out those words (hahahha) I walk by them and into the scanner.

The csec officer presses a button and scans me "seem you have a weapon on you…you're going to need to give that up"

I draw my m1911 "will I be getting it back on return?"

"Yes you will"

"All right" I hand over my pistol and walk into the citadels chambers and towards the avina console "where is the shepherd tonight set?"

A blue transparent asari pops up "we have called a cab for you it will take you strait there and have a nice day" (wow that was easy)

I step into shuttle and sit down, the door shuts on its own and it start to fly off (lets do this) I crack my neck and shake my shoulders, the door opens to a huge studio (wow that was rather quick…..o well) I see the bouncer for the studio, I walk past many pissed off people waiting in line "hay man im supposed to be interviewed on shepherd tonight"

He stares back at me looking me over "name?"

"Keltic herkat"

He glances down at his data pad "your in, first door on your right"

"thanks man" I nod my head and walk into the hallway and notice and movie poster on the wall (final destination 357) I face palm ( Jesus they don't stop making these things…..we get it you can't cheat death) "even in a different reality directors can't come up with better ideas for movies" I turn around and open the door and see a crowed starting to fill up the seats then I see shepherd walk out on stage (here we go) I walk out ( IF YOU WANT TO READ THE INTERVIEW GO TO _**HBHound**_ and the story _**Shepherd tonight**_ )

I step out of the studio (that went all right no problems…..except that fucking joke screw it he was a cool dude) im about to get to my car waiting for me and I see tali walk up to me.

She looks kind of nervous, she start wriggling her fingers "is it true you find me attractive?"

(YES) "I…." as soon as I'm about to say something jack punches her in the stomach "you and me are getting it on" (SHIT I GOTA DICH HER!) she steps in the car "two seconds jack" she responds with a finger. (Bitch)

I walk over to tail on the ground; I let out my hand and help her up "yes I do but right now I have a woman but if that don't work out I'll call you….aight?"

"that would be perfect Keltic thank you"

"no problem Tali….I shall see you sometime else Tali" I turn around and get in the car with jack (NOW TO DITCH THIS CRAZY BITCH….YES THAT WILL WORK) "hey driver will you take me to the main market?"

I see the human turn back to me "no problem buddy" jack is too drunk to know what's going on so what I'm about to do makes it easier.

The car lands and jack takes one step out and I kick her in the ass and throw her out of the car, I franticly yell at the driver "GO, GO, GO FUCKING GO!" the cab speeds off, I look in the rear view mirror and see a very angry jack trying to throw the bottle of henasy to the cab "HAHAHHAHAAHHA YES!" I did my happy dance in the back of the ship "aww yea time to get home, can you take me to the docks please?"

The cab driver was smiling too "no problem pal hahah"

I enjoy the rest of the ride looking at all the neon lights and signs and the bustling population, the ship lands and I step out, I walk to the driver's side "thanks man here take this" I transfer 40k worth of credits to his Omnitool.

He shakes my hand "thank you man thank you now I can buy a nice ring for my faience thank you"

"no problem man its thanks for helping me ditch that bitch hahha"

"she did fit that description"

I tap on the top of the car "ill see you later man" he fly's off as I watch him go (nice guy….his wife deserves a nice ring) I walk to the ship, I see mike smoking a cancer stick "we ready to go"

He throws it on the ground and stops out the flame "yup she's all filed up"

"aight lets head back to ilium…..SHIT almost forgot…..two seconds" I turn around and run to the csec officer in the scanning station "hay can I have my gun back now?" he nods his head and presses a button, a small tray pops out of the wall and he hands me my M1911 "thanks man"

I quickly pace back to mike "ok now we can go" he tips his hat and gets in and I follow, the hatch shuts and the ship starts to levitate in the air and blast to the mass relay, I lean my head back and fall asleep.

I wake up to the sounds of the hyper drive coming off line "we there?

"yea almost you can see the planet from here though"

(come to think of it I haven't seen it from orbit) I sit up in my chair and stare in awe out the windshield "wow"

he fly's the ship in same spot as before and lands, I turn to him "thanks man….I know you said I don't oue you anything but here" I transfer 60k credits to him "take care of yourself mike"

he tips his hat to me "you to Keltic I'll be seeing to later"

I step off and he fly's away back to the relay, I turn around and walk back in the lobby, its about 1 am and the only people still up are the employees, I stroll into the elevator and take it up, the door opens and I step to my room and slide the card, the door clicks open, I walk in and flip the lights (WHAT THE FUCK!) "NUIK!"

* * *

**_didint see that did yea...i really need to stop ending theses chapters with cliffhangers..._**

**_also check out HBHound he makes funny mass effect storys along with a new idea that i find epic it is that he has his rendition of commander shepherd interveiwing oc's from other storys! _**


	11. Chapter 11

**_Im sorry this took me so long...if you want to blame anything it would be reddit,tf2 and minecraft._**

* * *

I stood there staring back at him (What the fuck!) mouth wide open, I start to stutter "nu…n…..Nuik?"

He stood up and throws a hug around me "hello old friend nice to see you again"

I push him back and put my talons on his shoulders, looking him over "but….but…but I saw you die…..what happened!"

He chuckles a little bit "funny story….you see when you ran to the ship…..the rest of the Cerberus guys came to me…..I faked death to save you and to give them the idea I was dead to put there guard down….when the rest chased you I shot them in the back and ran to the med clinic…and here I am!"

"you crafty son of a bitch…..so wait…where did you get hit?"

He looks over his body "well I did and didn't….my suit got hit…..I didn't…gota say Cerberus isn't very through checking bodies" he laughs a little bit after that last sentence.

(goddamn you crafty!) "soooooo how did you get here?) cocking my head.

"you act like I don't remember where to go! Hahahah im not that stupid!" he punches me in the shoulder "plus you would get into some crazy stuff with out me"

I give him a faint smile "yea…..you don't know the half of it"

He gives me a confused look "what did you dooooooo?…"

I shrug "well…. remembers that Cerberus guy?" he nods his head "yea well I killed him and his goons…..then I killed this quarain named kersta that was also working with them…then I became a hit man and I still am" I let out a sigh waiting for the backlash of words from Nuik.

He stood there shocked "wha….what…you killed four people in a few days!"

I coughed "five"

"five….wow….well nothing I can do about it now…did anyone follow you?"

I shake my head "no it was a quick and quite kill"

Snisah walks in from the bedroom in a skimpy outfit "that's why you're working for me"

I see Nuik turn his head, then back to me and gives me a look like you fucked her? I starting laughing and nodded my head.

He tried to call my bluff "bullshit you're lying"

I give him a smile "hay Snisah did we have some fun last night?"

She looks at me and gets a smirk "well yes we did….I knew you were coming home late so I thought you would like this cat suit, we would have some more fun" she said the last words with a purr.

Nuik turned back to me "you lucky Bosh'tet…..well I'll be down in the bar for a bit" he walks by me and nudges my shoulder and whispers "destroy that" he walks out the door and closes it behind me.

I walk over next to Snisah "sooo what was this idea you had?" I give her a wicked smile.

She gets close to me and rubs her hand over my face "well just let me show you…..you worked hard all day, I'll do everything for you tonight" she grabs me by the hand and walks me back to my room, she pushes me onto my bed and crawls on top of me.

She gets real close to my face "are you ready for this?"

I smile back at her "are you?"

She leans up and starts to unbuckle my pant (ohhh this is guna be good) I feel them slide down my waist and hit the floor (here we go) I feel her hands run over my member.

"You ready?" I look down at her and smile with a nod (OH MY GOD!)

She rolls of me with a sweat going down her body "oh spirits Keltic….how did you last longer then me?"

I get a smirk "I'm awesome like that"

"that you are Keltic, I think I love you"

I turn my head "last time someone said that they tried to kill me"

"I haven't tried yet have I?

"true…..true"

She leans over to the nightstand and grabs a dossier (other one…well I am working)

"who is it this time?"

She shakes her head "oh no its not a hit…..you're going to steal something from the citadel with the help of someone"

"whats his name?"

"Oh no it's a she"

"she?"

"yes her name is kasumi goto"

(What!) "Who that?"

"A master thief, took me a bit to get in contact with her"

"I could understand that…..sooo when do I have to be at the citadel, and then where do I have to go?

"Well first go to the presidium you'll find her there and in about 5 hours"

I put my hands into my face "Jesus…..you ever want to tell me sooner? "

She ran her hand down my chest "would you have gone to work or had fun with me?"

I nod my head "yea…..I do prefer the fun…..but now I got to call in a favor from mike"

"well have fun"

I start to get dressed with a black trench coat and a pair of black pants, I grab my m1 and cock back the slide and put it in the holster "well I'm off" I crack my neck and stretch my arms out.

"Well be careful when you get there, she will inform you on everything else"

She walks by me toward the shower; I spank her ass and smile at her.

I walk out the door and see Nuik walk by me "be nice to her while I'm gone"

He throws me a quick salute and keeps going, I head down the elevator and walk out to the port (please still be here…..WHAT THE FUCK) I look over to the right and see the same guys that gave me to the crazy doctor, I walk over to the Krogan and pull my pistol and put seven rounds through his head, the other stare at me in amazement.

"He's alive!" he screams to the rest of his group.

I raise my pistol to the rest and start shooting into of them getting a blood rage; I shoot one in the arm twice, I turn it to a Drell running at me but he slaps the gun out of my hand and punches me in the head "YOU FUCK!" I duck down and tackle him down to the ground and start to pound his face into the ground "EAT SHIT!" I look up and see a leg swing at me (SHIT!) I duck and it flies over me, I quickly grab his leg and bring my elbow down on his knee shattering it, I hear him scream like a small girl, I long arm him in the Adams apple, I watch him fall hard clenching his throat trying to cough, I see the Drell get back up and swing, I get hit in the face a few times and fall back from the recoil (owwwwwww son of a bitch!) I punch him in the head and bring my foot down to his knee making his leg bend back words "you tried to sell me to a doctor for my organs!" I pick my gun back up and shoot the ones laying on the ground, I look around me and notice blood starting to make a puddle from the body's.

"Don't you ever fuck with me!" I look around and see every one staring at me (ohhhh shit…..um think of something) "I'm a spectre, these guys were galactic murders, so everyone go back to your life's"

I turn around and walk to the port and see mike "hay mike! You want to take me back to the citadel?"

He turns his head to me and smiles "yea I could take ya, and like before you don't have to pay, but you did any way, I'm happy you did, but it's no need"

"No offence but you remind me of the good ol boys from the south, it's not just the cowboy hat, you're a good guy"

"Well I am from the south back on earth; I took the style with me up here, it hasn't catching on but I don't give a damn" he shrugs his shoulders after the last statement.

(HES A HIPSTER!...an ok hipster) "sweet man it's good to know you don't give a fuck, I'm guna go get something from the bar while you start this up"

He salutes me and I turn around and run back to the bar "hay can I get a 5th of Turian vodka and a bottle of jack Daniels" he hands me two bottles "thanks man"

I run back out to the ship and see that mike is done filling it up and already headed inside, I walk up the walk way and press the button and the door closed, I sit down next to him and hand him the Jack, and twist the top of my vodka and starts to drink.

"Thanks man I wanted some of this to be honest"

"No problem just thought some booze would pass the time"

He flips the auto pilot on and takes a drink from his bottle "damnnnnn that's good!; I haven't had Jack in a long time, reminds me of home"

I take swig of my vodka "no problem man just thought I owed you something for doing this for me"

We hit the mass really and this time I'm ready for the blast back (that's wasn't to bad) I watch out the window as I see the stares fly by us, I take a drink of my drink (damn beautiful) he slow down to a normal (fast) pace.

"wait…last time it took 4 hours…what happened?"

He gives me a stupid look "you remember that fuck ton of credits you gave me? Well ii spent it on this baby on a faster mass effect core; I'm as fast as commander shepherds Normandy maybe faster"

"Damn dude that's sweet"

"Also Keltic I was wondering….why you heading back so soon?"

(shit shit) "I'm going to help someone out, they said moneys involved" (yea that works)

"well aight Ill see you later"

The ship lands and the doors open, I step out and see a shady figure jump in front of me "HOLY FUCK!"

This woman got a nice smile on her face "nice to meet you Keltic my names kasumi , I didn't scare you did i?" she giggles after that

"yes you did…very much so, but yes nice to meet you as well, so what was it you needed from me?"

She grabs my hand and leads me to a dark alley "sorry we can't talk about it in public, anyway what I need for you is to help me steal a piece of history from this highly guarded museum"

I get a sarcastic tone "sounds easy, when we start?"

"Now" she says in a playful tone she turns and starts to run down an ally (aight I can keep up with you) I start to follow her with speed, I jump over a box and slide under a pipe….(where did she go?) I scan the area for her (ah there see is) she's farther down the alley climbing a wall and jumping around to reach the roof (DAMN AM I FREE RUNING!) I start to sprint again and run into a human I shoulder him out of my way and knock him on his ass.

"Sorry man!"

"FUCK YOU MAN!"

I start to run on a staircase I step on the ledge (oh shit I hope this works) I push off with my feet and land on the roofs ledge with my hands, my chest slams into the wall"SHIT" I start scrambling with my feet for grip, I catch a break and pull myself up, I roll over and see her looking at me.

"Having fun trying to keep up?" she start laughing again.

I get up sorely "yea I'm not much of a free runner, are we almost there?"

"Were right above it" (thank god!)

"So know what"

She lifts a crate of the roof and crawls in "down here"

"Right behind you" I get down on my stomach and start to follow her.

"Hay Keltic"

"Yes?"

"Stop staring at my ass" (shit)

"Sorry"

I watch her face form into a smile and she looks away and starts to crawl again, she stops at a grate above a small computer room, she lifts the grate and crawls down slowly and I follow, my feet touch the ground and I see Kasumi points out a guard watching the other way.

I whisper to her "I got this" I creep to the guard and put him in a sleeper hold and I knock him out and drag him back into the room.

She starts running down the hall and starts to hack a door, I follow and watch our backs while the door opens, I see a guard turn the corner (shit!) I pull my m1 and fire six shots and kill him.

"I'll be right back I got to hide him the best I can" I run back to his body and drag him into the same room as the other "sorry man wrong place wrong time" I walk out and see the door open and she waves me on, I step in and see a giant diamond (of course) she put it in her pack and runs back out to the computer room and jumps up and I follow and crawl out the shaft to the roof.

"So I'll see you later Keltic it was nice to see you, thanks for the help"

"No problem Kasumi"

She ran to the edge of the building and jumps down into the street and disappears, I let out a sigh and make my way back to the street (now to make my way back home) I make it back to mike and we fly off to ilium.

We land and I salute mike and head into the main hall and get in the elevator (I'm just guna sleep I don't give a damn) I open the door to my room "WHAT THE FUCK! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I see Snisah's body riddled with holes, I run over to her and start to cry "NOOOOOOOO" then rage "WHO THE FUCK DID THIS!"

"Keltic, WHAT HEPPEND!"

I turn around to see Nuik standing there, I pull out my pistol and cock it back "I don't know but I'm about to find out"


End file.
